She was born on January 30 by C-section. I really had hoped for a natural child birth, but as things turned out, she was breech and the C-section was the best option to go with. Such is life. I’d rather have a healthy baby than the most perfect birth plan followed.

The C-section went just fine. I even watched part as one of the lights happened to be so oriented that I could see what was going on. Didn’t tell the doctors that because I wanted to be able to see, and I figured they might move it if I said a word.

There’s something really special about seeing your baby being born, even if it is by a C-section. Thank goodness for epidurals so I didn’t have to think about what all was going on.

She’s a little thing for a full term baby, a mere 5 lb 9.7 oz and 18.5 inches long. Just a tiny bit bigger than her month preemie brother. It’s so much like holding a doll picking her up, especially since my first was 8 lb 10 oz.

I do consider there to be one advantage to that C-section, however. I had already signed the paperwork to get my tubes tied. No more birth control worries!

That was something we had planned. If I had succeeded in the VBAC I wanted, it would have been my husband’s problem, shall we say. But with a C, much simpler to have things tied off and be done with it.

No more considering hormonal birth control or other methods. I really am delighted about that even with the occasional “OMG I will never have another baby” twinge. I know I don’t want or need more children.

She’s great at breastfeeding. In less than a week she put back much of her birth weight, despite having lost close to 10% of it while we were in the hospital. Considering how low her weight is, that was a real relief to me.

She sleeps. I mean really sleeps. Wakes up once a night already. Once in a while twice in the night, but she’s my first good sleeper. Since she’s growing so well I really don’t mind.

Bit by bit I’m feeling better myself.  I really detest incision pain, and I’ve been lucky enough to have tons of help from family. But I’ve been feeling the urge to get some work done again while Selene naps beside me, so here I am.

I forgot how ridiculous most of those lists are.

I’d forgotten a lot since with my last pregnancy nearly 4 years ago I was sent from a routine OB check to the hospital to be monitored and prepared for an urgent C-section. In other words, no bag. No supplies.

And in my first pregnancy, I quickly found that I didn’t use that much of what I brought. There just really aren’t that many things you need there.

Toiletries

Yes, absolutely. But unless you have duplicates, they’re really hard to prepack. Just keep in mind that you will want your toothbrush, toothpaste and hair brush at some point. The hospital has soap and shampoo as a rule, so if you don’t bring them it’s not the end of the world.

Important Papers

You’ll need your insurance card. You’ll want to have a copy of your birth plan if you’ve written one. Not much else matters.

My husband and I had a birth plan with our daughter, but ended up really not paying attention to it. Sometimes they work out great. Other times… just paper.

Don’t forget a phone book or list. If you have a family member who is willing to call with the good news, you can split up this job so that you mostly call the people you really want to talk to. After giving birth you’re probably going to be tired, so anything that keeps the number of calls down to something reasonable is good.

Clothes

Most important to me has always been just having an outfit to go home in. But if you want to wear your own gown during labor, or clothes other than a hospital gown when you’re done, pack what you need.

My first time around, I found that I just didn’t feel like changing clothes much of the time, so I spent a lot of time just in the hospital gowns. Also nice that if anything got on them, I wasn’t going to have to wash them when I got home.

A nursing bra is nice to have along, though. Your milk may start coming in during your hospital stay, so have some nursing pads ready too. Oh, the joys!

Your partner may or may not want to bring clothes. My husband always just went home to change. For our first, we were just blocks from the hospital anyhow. For the second, he spent time with our oldest as well as with me in the hospital, so packing clothes wasn’t needed. But that won’t work for every couple.

Labor Supplies

What do you need to make your time in labor comfortable? MP3 players really make bringing your own music easier than it was back when I had my daughter. Some people like lotions or massage supplies, a birth ball, focus object, pillows… you can create quite a list.

Just practice at home first. If something sounds nice when you read about it, but doesn’t work out at home, odds are you won’t want it at the hospital either.

Money

Odds are pretty good that you will have to pay for parking. Not true at all hospitals, but know in advance if it’s true at yours.

Besides, your partner will want to be able to buy snacks and/or meals. The hospital rarely feeds anyone who isn’t a patient there.

Snacks

Odds are, the hospital won’t let you eat during labor. They’re too concerned that you might have to go in for a C-section, as I understand it. If you want to eat during labor, better do so before you head out to the hospital if you can.

You may be able to enjoy some hard candies and such to keep your throat moist, but that’s about it.

Your partner, on the other hand, will probably need snacks. The hospital won’t care what he eats. But if it bugs you, send him out of the room to do so.

Raisins are a fair choice for snacking after giving birth. That first postpartum bowel movement is not so fun. Making it move a little easier is not a bad idea. Though you probably don’t want to overdo it.

Camera and Supplies

I have my digital camera cleared out, and two sets of batteries charged. I still need to check the camcorder to be sure that there’s plenty of tape, although I don’t anticipate recording the labor. Cozy times with baby, on the other hand….

Baby Supplies

The only vital things are your infant car seat, a going home outfit and an appropriate blanket. All of these can be brought from home by your partner after you’ve given birth. No need to rush on getting these together beforehand if you just don’t have them ready.

The hospital will have disposable diapers and wipes for you, so just skip it unless you really, really need to start cloth diapering in the hospital. Which isn’t a bad thing, but rather more inconvenient than you may have the energy to deal with.

Something to Do After Baby is Born

Hospitals are boring! Even with a new baby beside you waking regularly to be fed, you will get bored. Keep it simple, as you’ll probably have to put down your book or whatever you bring down pretty often as people come in to visit, nurses come in to check your blood pressure and such, baby wakes up and so forth. Boring certainly doesn’t mean restful.

No, You Probably Won’t Use All This Stuff

If you get in a rush and don’t even bring the bag at first, don’t be surprised if you get along just fine with only what the hospital gives you for the first while. The only things you really need in order to give birth are a comfortable place and some good support.

But having things packed means your partner can bring the things you need for after labor pretty easily. No wondering about what you want to wear when you go home. No searching for baby’s first outfit. No wondering what you’d like to do with your spare time.

But what amazes me is how little people who should know better know about VBAC. I had the receptionist at my pediatrician’s office surprised that VBAC is possible.

Yet it’s safer than a repeat C-section, from what I’ve read! At least in the appropriate circumstances, such as mine. I’ve delivered vaginally before, and I had a transverse C-section, rather than vertical. My OB gives me 90% odds of success.

Considering my daughter had a 95th percentile head and her fist up along side it when I pushed her out, I figure I’m quite capable of pushing anything out!

When I mention natural childbirth as my preference to other moms, they just about go nuts, or at least say I am. But I think it makes a lot of sense to at least try for it.

First of all, I did great with my daughter until they put me on pitocin. By the time they finally found the anesthesiologist to give me an epidural for the pain that caused two hours later, I almost had it under control again. But the nap the epidural allowed me to take sure helped.

Second, I want to be able to walk around, squat or do whatever I want as much as possible. Medication limits all that.

Third, I have confidence that I can do it this time. Selene’s doing great, kicking ribs and has plenty of room. I’m comfortable with the sensations I expect to be dealing with, and my husband is very supportive. He’s getting better with the terminology I need him to use, such as sensation rather than pain. Some words will be mine and mine alone to use, just to keep my support positive for me.

And the most minor reason of all… it will save us money. Not really important, and if I really NEED a C-section or medication I’m fine with that, but we pay a percentage with our insurance. If I can keep costs down, I just think that’s smart. That it would be by doing something I’d like to do anyhow is a minor bonus.

I am very determined that this will be my last pregnancy. If things go to a C-section, I’ve already signed the tubal ligation paperwork. May as well finish things off while they’re in there. If not, there are other alternatives my husband and I can go over.

My plan is to go to my mother’s house when I suspect I’m in labor, even a little bit. That puts me close to the hospital and my husband’s work. It’s a nice, comfortable place where I can get things going, almost as good as staying at home. Home being 30-45 minutes from the hospital in average traffic, worse in rush hour.

It’s been interesting educating the naysayers. I had one woman insisting that the uterine rupture risk was far higher than it is. I explained to her the different types of C-section and that the risks are very different for the two.

I’ve explained to others that it is entirely possible to control the sensations if you prepare for it and can move around until you’re comfortable. I won’t say they were converted, but that’s a bit trickier. We are very conditioned in this culture to think of the screaming woman lying down in the hospital bed. That’s not what I want or what any laboring woman needs as a visualization.

In terms of being green, there are a lot of things I like to do. But in 2009, my focus is pretty much going to be on greening my baby experience.

Some of it will be pretty easy. I already have the minimal driving habit, although we are going to need a second vehicle. Our current car won’t hold the entire family after the baby comes, and with all the doctor appointments babies need, calling on family for a ride just won’t cut it. It would be necessary too often.

But we are looking used, and fuel efficiency is a big consideration along with budget.

Clothes and many other supplies aren’t a big issue. We have tons of handmedowns coming. We still own our original cradle and crib.

A king size pillowcase makes for a wonderful sheet for a cradle mattress. They’re the perfect size. Just a little trick my mother taught me that saves trying to buy cradle sheets. Crib sheets, on the other hand, may need to be purchased, although I think we still have some in decent condition.

I still have to actually buy my cloth diapers. Time to just buckle down and get the research done so I can finalize my decision.

Then the fun part of explaining them to my mother-in-law. Oh, probably my side of the family too, but I know who tends to be the most vocal about when I do something out of the expected. But cloth diapers really aren’t what they were when she had kids, and I expect that by the time baby is 6 months to a year old, she’ll get it.

At least, that’s how long it took for her to quit complaining about me breastfeeding my first. She does understand the benefits now, though, and is a huge proponent of it. Just took a while.

We’re also looking at making baby food at home. We already own a VitaMix, although I will have to teach my husband to clean it really well. He’s rather trusting of a quick rinse on too many things. Soap and hot water, dear, especially when cleaning something to make it safe for making baby food! Better safe than really, really sorry.

He’s also finally getting it about why I want to make our own baby food when the time comes. It’s more of a cost savings thing for him than anything else, but I’ll take what I can get. He’s always been a fan of my food mill for the second stage foods, but this time he understands about making it throughout.

At least he’s always understood my insistence on breast feeding.

It’s fun having an influence on someone, helping them to understand why they should make green choices. In addition to the changes for baby, he’s learned to appreciate composting and using natural fertilizers on the garden. No more chemicals.

What did it take?

Persistence, but not nagging.

Sharing information.

Making it easy for him to give it a try.

And of course, looking at the two children we have already and wanting it to be better for them. It’s hard for a good father to want anything else.

It’s not a great job. It’s not a green job. It’s not something he wants to stick with for more than a few months, ideally. But it’s income. Possibly good income since a part of the pay is based on commission.

But it’s income and health coverage. A chance to get off the COBRA coverage.

Investigating the new coverage, which starts the first day of the first month after the 60 day mark, it looks like I will have to change obstetricians for this baby. At first I was kind of disappointed, but now I’m not… so long as the copays and whatnot aren’t bad.

You see, the research I did on it included taking a better look at the hospital I was going to deliver at. I had been thinking my OB’s insistence on another C-section might have been her personal preference.

But in my research I found out how to look at the hospitals. The one nearest me just doesn’t routinely offer VBAC. But the one I would have to deliver at under the new plan DOES!!

I’ll put up with the extra driving for that chance. I really didn’t want to go the C-section route again. If it’s necessary that’s one thing. But due to a stinking hospital policy? NO!!

The minus is that there are only two OBs in my area to choose from, and only one actually specializes in it. The other is in internal medicine.

Nervous as I am about all this, I’m glad to have the chance to really try for VBAC. And of course I’m grateful for any kind of work that my husband can do. He’s keeping up the job hunt to try to find a career position, but in the meantime, we just need to get by.

And I’m trying not to think about how little time he’ll probably be able to take when baby gets here. Good thing there’s lots of family around.

It’s certainly not easy. With all the pressures kids have to conform and to want pretty much everything they see on television or their friends tell them about, the environment is only so much on their minds.

My main thoughts are currently centered on how to start this baby off right. Since my husband has finally agreed to go for cloth diapers, that’s going to be one good start. We haven’t gotten rid of the older children’s baby toys yet, still have the stroller, pack ‘n play, cradle, crib and so forth, so that’s going to help. They were about to head off to the thrift store. I told him trying to get rid of such things was dangerous!

Have to get a new infant car seat, though. Ours is older than the recommended age and I would hate to guess wrong on whether or not that recommendation is too conservative. Too much at risk in an accident.

And yes, we have tons of old baby clothes, either here if it’s a boy, or with my sisters if it’s a girl. There’s plenty of time for those to wander back into my custody if needed during visits that would happen anyhow.

Yes, I will be breastfeeding, and I’m thinking I’m going to use my reliable old baby food mill a little more heavily this time. Both of those have always worked well for me.

Helping Older Kids Reduce Waste

So really I should probably be thinking more on what to do to continue teaching my older kids. The more habits I can build into them, the better.

The challenge here is of course that older children don’t always understand why you’re telling them something, and will do things completely without thinking. That’s why my daughter had to fetch a spoon out of the trash the other day. That also explains why so much of my silverware is missing, because I’m sure I haven’t caught that happening every time. Very frustrating but a good example of how kids can do things unthinking when they know they shouldn’t.

That is one of the things I like about the school the kids are at now. The school started a garden area for the kids last year. They’re big on having the kids run and the play area is more challenging than most I’ve seen recently. They have a new recycling program in the lunch area, and I believe in the classrooms.

My daughter brings lunch to school just about every day when school in in session, and always in reusable containers. She’s as near to zero waste for lunch as I can manage… not counting whatever she refuses to eat.

There are some great reusable lunch bags and boxes out there. I love the Laptop Lunches Kit, since that’s pretty flexible. ReusableBags.com has a lot more lunch bags available, so if the Laptop Lunches Kit is too small you can find something more to your size preference.

Amazon also carries plenty of lunch bags; just do some research to avoid lead and BPA.

Reducing Waste at Home

Beyond just keeping kids from accidentally throwing things out that they shouldn’t, there are many things you can have them do at home.

Keep that wardrobe under control, for example. I find this one surprisingly difficult, not because I buy many clothes at all for my kids, but because relatives do! I am constantly amazed at how many clothes my kids end up with despite the fact that I almost never buy them anything, new or used.

We teach them the difference between play and nice clothes, so that nice clothes get ruined less quickly. Of course play clothes are at first defined as any clothes that will wash up well, and later as the clothes they’ve ruined for other purposes. Playing in torn jeans means nothing to my kids so far, other than that they can get as messy as they like.

I’ve posted in the past about using trash as craft supplies. If your kids are creative, it’s a great outlet.

Toys, Toys Everywhere!

I consider toys a weakness around here, even though, once again, we don’t buy that many! It’s the challenge of generous relatives.

I do tell people that anything that encourages active play or creativity is more welcome than any toy that limits the kids by how it’s supposed to be used. It doesn’t always help, but it’s worth the try.

When you’re stuck with tons of plastic toy clutter it’s time to teach the kids about generosity. Take some time regularly and go through the toys and figure out what can go to charity. Or you can go entrepreneurial and have a garage sale to teach them about earning money. Either way the toys are getting out of your house and being reused by someone else.

Magic Cabin is a really great place to find natural toys for children. Any time I visit their online store I go nuts wanting too much stuff. Not everything there is natural, but as a whole they tend to offer many more creative toys than most shops.

Cleaning Up Your Hike

My kids love to go hiking. A very simple bit of responsibility to teach them is that if you see trash, you pick it up. And of course, if you bring it in, use it up or take it out. Simple rules kids understand.

If you haven’t encouraged this before, you may be amazed at how much younger children in particular enjoy doing this. Keep in mind that the same kid who will absently throw a wrapper on the floor at home will be completely absorbed by the notion that they can help clean up natural areas. It’s just not the same to them.

Garden Organically

Kids love gardens. Mine are just about obsessive about planting seeds. Given that they know nothing about it, most of what they plant never grows, but at least they try.

Our pumpkins really took off this year. They came from seeds from ones we bought last fall, and it looks like we will have a pretty nice supply for Halloween.

They really go for the tomatoes too. Those were just about the only other thing that did well in our garden this year for some reason.

But trust me, young kids don’t mind too much that the garden isn’t producing well. Being in the garden means they can dig in some dirt (set aside an area for that) and look for bugs. Oh, and you can’t forget how much fun they have nibbling on anything you’ve approved. Mine love basil and mint.

We compost, so food waste goes to making each year’s garden a little healthier without fertilizers. It works pretty well most years.

No matter what you do, of course, people have an impact on the planet. You can still take steps to limit your own and that of your family.

Like a lot of mothers-to-be (again), a lot of unhealthy foods get to be really tempting at times. I’m luckier in this area than some moms I know – I currently have a strong aversion to greasy food. I talked to one mom who said she could stomach nothing but McDonald’s during her last pregnancy. Just the thought… eww!

My strongest craving so far has been for cucumbers. I’m certainly not going to complain about that one, although it was heartbreaking finding out that the batch I bought one time had a serious problem with a bitter flavor in them.

More challenging are the cravings for something sweet. I generally try to analyze what it is I’m really after with those cravings. Sure a big bowl of ice cream is fun, but what is it I’m really wanting? Can I get a healthier version?

But the worst, of course, is when I’m nauseous. You know the sort, where even Saltine crackers are hard to eat. And I really loathe ginger.

My best key for this is to try to have something easy on the stomach available with every meal. Rice, for example. Sometimes the nausea starts when I’m in the middle of preparing dinner, or eating it. Yes, for me nausea is at its worst in the evening. Really, really makes me glad most of it is gone now.

I try to have something healthy I can still stomach available all the time, so if I’m hungry and nauseous, I suffer only as much as the nausea requires. Sometimes that’s a lot if the nausea beats out the hungry.

It’s kind of an awkward feeling. I’m delighted about having another baby, but at the same time, I’d meant to stick with just 2 kids. There’s some of that green guilt for adding yet another person to the world.

But it’s a baby. I really can’t stay upset about it for long.

Nice thing is that my green leanings have been steadily rubbing off on my husband. I wanted cloth diapers with our previous two, and he was flat out against it. He saw a show on National Geographic called Human Footprint about how much we consume throughout our lives, and the part that caught his attention most was on disposable diapers. He WANTS cloth diapers for this baby. So I’ve won that argument at last.

But there’s another impact for us. One car won’t cut it anymore soon. This is really rough because my husband is still looking for a new job. But our one car has a total of 4 seats. Won’t exactly work with this fifth person comes into our family. And with car seats we’re going to need something wide enough that all the kids will still fit. My oldest doesn’t legally need a car seat anymore, but I prefer her to be in one. She’s still small enough that it’s safer.

The second car is also needed because I just cannot visualize trying to take public transportation with 3 young children to handle all the doctor’s appointments a new baby requires. Beyond that I still want to live like we only have one car and keep unnecessary driving to the barest minimum we can manage.

There’s not much we’ll need to buy for baby right away. We have access to boy clothes and girl clothes from previous babies; just have to get them back from relatives. We were in the process of cleaning out the old baby toys from the garage, but hadn’t quite gotten rid of them yet. I have to see if the breast pump still works. I’ve never used formula and can’t imagine doing so with this baby. We still have our food mill for making baby food.

I can also admit to being some nervous about the pregnancy itself. I’m turning 36 soon, and my last pregnancy was not so easy as the first, ending in what could have quickly turned into a miscarriage. Fortunately an alert doctor caught the lack of amniotic fluid on an unscheduled ultrasound and sent me in for a C-section. Unfortunately, that means my new OB (we’ve moved since then) is determined to do a C-section at 38 weeks or earlier if necessary to avoid that problem this time. I was so hoping to avoid that, even knowing my odds were slim!

On the plus side, to be blunt about it, it means I can easily get tied off and make it even harder for an unplanned pregnancy to occur again. 3 kids is quite enough, and 2 C-sections is very much so my limit!