Category Archives: Eco Friendly Parenting

5 Things That Really Matter to Kids at Christmas

With Christmas nearly here it’s a good time to really focus on what really matters to kids at this time of year. All the gifts they beg for are just the things they think they want. Most of them probably won’t be remembered. But other things will be far more memorable.

1. Time spent as a family.

Kids aren’t too prone to asking for this one, although my daughter loves to beg for family adventures. That generally means going someplace she thinks are exciting.

graham cracker house

But not everything must be an adventure. We spent a long time yesterday and today making a graham cracker house (my kids don’t like gingerbread). They were utterly delighted, and may well remember it for a long time. It’s incredibly sticky work, and not a particularly healthy thing to do, but such fun!

We also read together every night. It’s the little things you do as a family that really help children to feel loved and secure.

2. Keep the stress level down.

This can be a very stressful time, as any parent knows. Kids don’t always realize when they’re stressed as such. Don’t overschedule your holidays, even if there’s a lot of pressure to see everyone and participate in every family activity. Sometimes it’s best to ease up a little.

We keep Christmas morning as our time. No running around visiting people, although if someone wants to come by we would probably welcome them. This took some time to build, as my husband wanted to keep going to his parents first thing. But I pointed out that they didn’t go running around visiting first thing when he was a kid, and it’s more fun for kids to come running out of their rooms first thing to see their presents and have leisure to open them.

Make it fun!

3. Be honest about what they can expect as gifts.

Don’t tell them what they’re getting, but do talk honestly about the possibilities. High expectations can lead to big disappointment. And if you can’t afford the dream gift, just say so.

“Sorry honey, no pony!”

4. Build traditions.

I suspect the graham cracker house thing may end up as a tradition. We did a gingerbread house last year, and that’s how I know that they don’t like gingerbread.

But we also have a family gathering with my husband’s side of the family on Christmas Eve night. He really, really looks forward to it. It’s an extended family thing, so lots of relatives he sees only at times like that. My daughter loves it too, since one cousin on that side is just a month older than she is. And of course Santa makes an appearance.

5. Make it about more than the presents.

Pretty much along the lines of the rest of this post. Kids love presents. I won’t pretend otherwise. But they really want to do things that they will remember. Playing with family members, doing fun things will mean a lot more in the long run.

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How Do You Find Green Toys and Safer Toys?

The number of toy recalls this year has been nothing short of astounding. Everything from lead paint to GHB. It really is sad that so much can get into the stores that isn’t safe for our children.

safe toys

All of this is going to make Christmas gift shopping a lot harder for parents. While I had no intention of buying them, my daughter had expressed a strong interest in those Aqua Dots that have now been recalled.

While I don’t always succeed in keeping my toy shopping green for my kids, I have managed it some of the time, and a lot of the toys are pretty neat. Even Amazon has a fair selection of bamboo toys. My daughter has the bamboo dominos, for example, and really enjoys them. Amazon also carries a selection of handmade toys.

Of course you can shop with smaller companies too. There are a lot of companies online, such as WoodGamz.com, which makes cornhole games, Kazoo Toys which sells many toys that are made in the USA, and other such companies.

The challenge can be in denying your kids the hot toys that all their friends want. The point I like to remember is that my daughter won’t be upset with me for long. She has fun with the toys I choose for her, and generally doesn’t even think of the toys she had wanted unless she sees them again elsewhere (at which point the answer is simply ‘no’).

Admittedly, this is easier since she’s just 5.

What I like best to get for kids are toys that strongly encourage creativity or activity. Kids are generally pretty content with such toys.

Craftbury Kids, for example, offers a lot of old fashioned and wooden toys that look just wonderful to me. I haven’t checked all of the toys, but I think most of their toys are made in the USA or Europe, which is a nice start for not needing to worry about lead in the paint. They even have a log cabin toy set that is very similar to Lincoln Logs.

The Discovery Channel also offers a selection of green toys that your children may enjoy. I do miss seeing their stores in the mall, but at least they’re still online. Not everything that they sell is green of course, and some things such as the Discovery Hydrogen Fuel Rocket are only semi-green, being made of plastic but teaching about alternative energy sources.

While for younger children you shouldn’t forget how wonderful a plain set of wooden blocks can be, older kids can be more challenging, especially as they see what their friends get. The pressure starts more or less as soon as they have friends that they talk toys with… say, preschool age, and keeps building.

The best general advice I can give in that area is to do the best you can and talk to your kids about why you don’t want to buy certain toys. My daughter, for example, badly wanted Aqua Dots, which initially received a general ‘no’ but since the recall have had an explanation in depth that she understood. She was just about frantic for a friend of hers who she knew had received them for a birthday.

She’s less understanding about why she can’t have a Bratz doll, but a part of that is rather abstract and hard to explain to a 5 year old.

As you shop, think about the reputation of the product you’re buying as well as the store. Even good companies sometimes make mistakes. But a good store will quickly clear out anything that has been recalled, while cheaper stores may be slow to do so. Look for toys that encourage creativity and interaction, not ones that direct the child. Go green when possible, but if you’re stuck, sometimes you have to decide if it’s worth it to you anyhow. If the toy is durable, at the very least it could be reused by someone else.

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Figuring Out Green Travel for Families

With the holiday season upon us, many families will be traveling a lot, even if only to visit relatives. It’s hard sometimes to balance environmental sensibilities with the chance to see rarely-seen relatives.

green holiday travel

Visiting family is one of the delights of the holiday season. In fact, I recently returned from a pre-holiday dinner with relatives that live 500 miles away from me. We drove, as that was the most sensible for our budget. Fortunately that also appears to be the method of travel that produces the least carbon.

I found a carbon trip calculator that showed that driving that distance in a small car like ours creates about 600 pounds of carbon. The round trip flight would create 431 lbs of carbon per passenger. That may sound better, but remember that’s per passenger, and there are 4 of us. I had to estimate with the car, since the site only calculates based on annual usage, going as low as 2000 miles. I cut that number in half since the round trip is approximately 1000 miles.

Trains are also a greener way to go, but rather more leisurely than many people have time for when traveling for the holidays. On the plus side, the kids aren’t so strapped in and can wander about. No bathroom stops either. But the only train service I saw for our trip involved two stints on a bus… not my idea of a good trip. But it’s fairly efficient and doesn’t produce as much carbon as other alternatives.

But kids can get just as bored and annoying to other passengers on the train as they do on a plane. Bring toys if that’s your choice.

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The Benefits of Kids Playing Outside More

I just love sending my kids outside to play. Not only is the backyard a better ‘babysitter’ than the television, it’s much better for the kids to play outside. I can send them outside to play and often get 2 hours of quiet, while I’d be lucky to get a half hour using the ‘electronic babysitter’.

playing outside

That’s one of the simple ways to get kids to interact with at least a little nature. It’s not much, but it’s something, especially since we garden with our kids. It helps to keep them aware of nature.

I’m feeling pretty lucky in where I live right now. Even though the weather is cooling off most days (still having some hot ones), it’s beautiful for being outside too. No rain yet, no snow likely ever.

I don’t worry too much about perfect weather, though. I don’t mind my kids jumping in rain puddles if that’s what they feel like doing. If it’s cold outside I just encourage them to dress appropriately.

Even just backyard play encourages a sense of exploration. I see my kids digging for worms, finding bugs and generally having a good time. For some reason they find scrubbing down the outdoor table and chairs my inlaws gave us utterly fascinating. It happens regularly.

There is such a difference in behavior if kids don’t get to play outside enough. Some call it ‘Nature Deficit Disorder‘. My kids are much better behaved if they spend time playing ouside creatively rather than staring at the television. Whether or not it’s a common thing I will leave to individual parents.

The benefits I see from having my kids play outside a lot include the aforementioned better behavior as well as more creativity. If you like, you can think of outside play as one big, open ended toy. Even on playground equipment kids can use their imaginations, but you can often see far more if they’re just playing in the dirt.

The recent fires have put something of a damper on hiking. Some of the places we like best burned, and I think are still closed. It’s a pity, since I do think that getting out in nature beyond the backyard and playground has a benefit too. Unless, of course the backyard is like the one at my grandparents’ place in Oregon, as seen in the photo. The chance to see wildlife is really special and just doesn’t happen in most yards.

Playing outside also gives kids a chance to take chances. I love that. It can be hard to let my kids run about, and I do keep them in site, but being allowed to be independent helps them to develop. I try to watch enough to keep injuries minor, but getting hurt is another part of growing up.

I know in a lot of places winter means it’s harder for kids to play outside for more than a short time, but I think it’s important to allow it when possible. Just think about what you did when you were a kid.

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Getting the Kids Ready for the Holidays

Children look forward to the holiday season, especially (for those who celebrate it) Christmas. For many kids it’s a time to get a ton of new toys, many of which will only be used a few times.

There are a lot of things I intend to do with my kids to get them ready for the holiday season. Some of it is to just plain clear things out, the rest to help them to understand what they should and should not be expecting from Christmas.

christmas presents

Step one, to be implemented within the next few weeks, is to agree on the toys we will be getting rid of. Due to the sheer range of stuff they receive for birthdays and prior Christmases I expect to be disposing of at least half.

My kids are unusually good about this. The last time we did a toy cleanout my daughter was delighted by the thought that poorer kids could get to use her toys that didn’t interest her anymore. She kept that up when we cleaned out her old clothes a month or two back. It may be a bit more difficult to deal with my son, who hasn’t had to do this himself before, but I think he can start to get the idea.

Step two is somewhat ongoing, due to my daughter’s current phase of wanting everything she sees a commercial for. Pretty much all parents know this phase, I think.

But I’ll be stepping it up pretty soon, as we update last year’s Christmas list. I have a website for my daughter, and one of the things it has is her Christmas wish list. Last year she couldn’t read, so I could get away with making comments on the things she was asking for, and let people know which things I really didn’t want her to have. It was the simple way of dealing with the fact that kids generally want much more than they ought to have.

But this year she’s just starting to read, and I think she’s old enough to understand why I won’t be putting everything she wants on her list. Of course if I did that, it would be pretty much the entire store.

I don’t expect my kids to want all the environmentally friendly stuff, but when I see something along those lines that appeals to them, I encourage it. I also encourage toys that require more creativity, and so avoid toys that are more set in what you’re supposed to do with them, as well as most television character toys.

Another thing I encourage them to ask for is craft supplies. I love to have a lot of things around the house that requires my kids to think, do and be creative. My kids have a box of supplies ready for all their whims. It can leave a mess but is so much fun to see.

I know some families get very picky about the toys their kids get and try to avoid plastic ones. That has always sounded pretty challenging to me, considering what is available these days. But I do want to be pickier about the plastic toys allowed. I find it hard to give up the idea of my kids playing with Legos, for one. It’s a tough decision sometimes.

Talking about what Christmas is and what it should be is very important to me. There are a lot of ideals beyond “gimme, gimme” that need to be taught. Sharing, giving to the less fortunate, for example. Appreciating what we do have. It takes time and patience to instill those values, but I hope to do well at it.

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