Is Environmentalism Pushing Women Back Into the Home?

Raising an eco friendly family is a lot of work, and much of what needs to be done when it comes to the children is traditionally “women’s work.” Could it be that environmentalism is just another way to push women into being stay at home moms?

As a green stay at home mom myself, I don’t think of it that way for how I live my life. It’s not true for all green stay at home moms, however.

How Are Chores Divided?

Living an eco friendly lifestyle adds to the chores, certainly. Cloth diapers take a bit more time than disposables, although I don’t find it to be all that significant, even when I line dry them. For that matter, line drying laundry in general doesn’t have to take a ton more time than putting it into the dryer. Most of the clothes have to be hung anyhow, and that can be combined with the line drying process.

It’s also about making sure both parents are taking on the extras.

But it’s also about making sure both parents are taking on the extras. It’s not just the at home mother’s job to do all of the extra work. The father can help out.

My husband handles the gardening. He manages the compost pile when we have one (not possible at our current residence, damn it!) He uses a reel mower on the lawn rather than a powered one.

If you’re dividing the chores fairly, the extra work involved in being green may fall somewhat heavier on the parent at home, but that would be true no matter the lifestyle if one parent stays at home.

Does Green Living Require One Parent at Home?

If you’re going for a simpler lifestyle, you certainly may not need two incomes, and it can make a lot of sense to have one parent stay at home, who is usually the mother.

Not always. Two of my sisters have stay at home husbands who are raising the kids.

Being eco friendly doesn’t really require that one parent stay at home.

But being eco friendly doesn’t really require that one parent stay at home. It’s certainly easier for a mother to stay at home if she wants to breastfeed, but not absolutely required if she can pump breastmilk, as one of my sisters did for each of her two children for about a year per baby. It was hard, but she did it. Her husband stayed home with the kids.

As for me, I always found breastfeeding easier than dealing with formula and bottles. It works well for me. It’s not extra work. It’s less. It’s a pleasure.

There are other ways couples can raise their family and still be eco friendly. One other of my sisters and her husband take mass transit to and from work each day. They garden, recycle, all that stuff. Their daughter is in her teens, so they certainly aren’t dealing with the baby issues that I deal with now.

Living green doesn’t absolutely require one person at home. It helps, but it’s not an absolute requirement, especially once you’re past the baby years. Instead it requires the willingness to pay attention to the lifestyle choices you make and to do the best you can.

More Opportunities for at Home Parents

The part I always love to point out is that there are now more opportunities for at home parents, whether that be a mother or a father, to express themselves and to pursue a career while being there for the kids.

That’s why I run this blog. That’s why so many other moms and dads want to work from home.

Lots of parents want more time with their families. Just ask them. It’s true of mothers and fathers.

While there are certainly more pressures for moms to stay at home, that doesn’t mean she has to stick herself into the 50s ideal and wear that perfect apron and pearls every day unless that’s how she wants to do things.

What About the Kids?

I believe that children thrive when they know they aren’t the center of their parents’ world, that they are one part of it. Kids need to know that both of their parents are people with interests and dreams of their own.

I believe that children thrive when they know they aren’t the center of their parents’ world, that they are one part of it.

Kids also need to learn that they can entertain themselves. They should be having fun with friends once they’re old enough, not just kept at home and lovingly cared for by a parent intent on sheltering them from the dangers of the world. The dangers aren’t as bad as the media wants us to think!

That means that I don’t believe stay at home moms or parents in general should be carting their kids around to activity after activity, even during the summer. I have my kids in swimming lessons right now, and they’re taking a break from karate for the summer. One class at a time is my usual rule.

The swimming lessons aren’t optional, not with grandparents who have a backyard swimming pool. Safety trumps other considerations.

If you entertain your kids by always being available to play with them, and then always having them in organized activities when they get older, when do they learn to handle it themselves?

What Are “Right” Choices?

Moms these days are greatly pressured to raise their kids exactly the right way. That’s why there’s the pressure to be at home, to put the kids in activities, to make sure they get the best possible test scores and have just the right friends. The green side of it is a very small part of the equation.

When it comes to raising kids, few choices are absolutely right. Pretty much the only absolutely right choices are the ones that have to do with not abusing your child.

When it comes to raising kids, few choices are absolutely right.

There are even right and wrong choices about safety. Parents keep their kids isolated in the name of safety, but forget that kids need to learn to deal with the world on their own terms before they’re adults. Yet doing that has risks.

I would rather take those risks, as I believe they’re less than the risks of raising a child who won’t know how to cope as an adult. But not all parents feel the same, and even how you go about either side of this varies tremendously by family. Who is right?

Similarly, pushing for academic perfection or pushing too hard too young in sports is a road to burnout. Parents do these things for what sound like really good reasons but the results they get may not be the ones they were after.

It’s not a competition. Your one goal is to raise happy, healthy, competent adults. Having good environmental sensibilities is a plus. But how you go about that in comparison to everyone else around you doesn’t matter. Most of them won’t even notice, except to criticize.

If you don’t want to be an at home mom or dad, then don’t. Find a way to make it work.

But if you want to be at home, and have an eco friendly family, be unashamed of that goal. Don’t compare your progress so hard with other families. Enjoy your garden, baking bread, washing diapers, line drying laundry or whatever it is you do. There’s nothing wrong with loving to do things yourself, no matter how others tell you it’s a bad thing.

Just be sure you don’t give up everything. I also believe every stay at home parent, whether a mother or a father, should have some way of keeping up her or his work skills. Life’s uncertain. You may someday need to work outside the home again. Being prepared is smart.

How to Deal with Crunchy Towels and Jeans After Line Drying Laundry

Line drying your laundry saves a lot of energy and money. It’s even pretty good exercise as you hang out your clothes, not to mention carrying damp laundry from the washing machine to the backyard.

There’s just one problem. Not everything dries nice, soft and comfortable to use.

Jeans and towels are notorious for this. They usually feel stiff and crunchy when you pull them off the line.

How can you get rid of the crunchies?

Take Them Down Damp

The simplest solution is to let them dry most of the way on the line, but take them down while they’re still a little bit damp and throw them into the dryer. It won’t take long to dry them and you’re still saving energy.

The towels and jeans will feel as though they’d spent the entire time in the dryer. No more nasty crunchy feeling.

Air Fluff

If they’re dry, you can still throw crunchy items into the dryer and just give them a few minute on the No Heat or Air cycle of your dryer. The motion will break up much of the crunchiness.

Add Baking Soda to the Washing Machine

Baking soda works as a water softener, and can help your towels and jeans to dry softer as well if it has been used in the water. They won’t get completely soft this way, but it may decrease the crunchy sensation enough.

You can also add vinegar to the rinse, which should help to soften everything.

Don’t use fabric softener on towels; it’s bad for their ability to absorb water, which is kind of contrary to the whole point of using a towel to dry yourself.

Double Them Up

Many people say that if you fold the towels in half to line dry them or hang two together, they will not be as stiff when they dry. The reason is that they tend to be less stiff if they dry more slowly.

Give Them a Snap

Some swear by this method. Give the towels and jeans a snap before hanging them on the line, maybe another when they’re about halfway dry, if you remember. This helps to limit how crunchy they get.

Get Used to It

Some people actually like their towels a little crunchy. It’s a feeling you can get used to.

Same for jeans. The crunchy feeling decreases as the jeans get older as well, so the problem may not be serious for long.

Give a few solutions a try and see what works for you. Your results may vary due to the weather you’re having, the age of your towels and jeans, and the hardness of your local water.

Making Summer Plans

Now that school’s out for my kids, it’s time to figure out what we’re doing this year. The homeschooling part I already know, and with the unused parts of the textbooks sent home with my daughter, I won’t even need a lot of supplies. It’s going to be great practice.

Obviously, there’s more to summer break than just homeschooling a little.

My husband wants to do some camping, at least with the two older kids, maybe the whole family. Depends on how much sleep deprivation he can talk me into, what with our youngest not being terribly cooperative about sleeping in unfamiliar conditions. She will insist on cosleeping if I take her camping, I have no doubt of that.

I don’t mind too much, except the last time I tried that on an air mattress I hardly got any sleep at all. Just not firm enough to relax with a baby.

No doubt the kids will be playing outside a lot. That means lots of sunscreen use. I suspect playtimes will move to mornings and evenings rather than afternoons as the season heats up.

We have plans to go visit old friends during the break too. They’re near where family lives, so the driving for visiting combines nicely, really limiting how much I spend on gas for the car.

A big focus is on teaching everyone to keep comfortable without cooling the house too much. I don’t say keep cool, because that’s not the precise goal, and tends to lead to too much air conditioner use.

I’m thinking a solar oven may be a good science project this summer. If we do a good job, it might get into some pretty regular rotation for cooking. I hate heating the house up by cooking at this time of year.

Most important, we just want to have fun!

THIS is Why I Want to Homeschool My Daughter

It’s the last day of school for my daughter today. Yesterday she brought home a stack of papers and her science workbook/text.

The book was scarcely touched. Apparently they only used it for their dinosaur assignment, not at all through the rest of the year. What good is it for the school to buy books they aren’t going to use?

I assume science is supposed to be in the curriculum. The school bought the books, after all, and it’s not like they have money to waste. California public schools are very poorly funded these days.

I haven’t seen whatever text they used for social studies this year. I gather that was barely used as well.

I know her school has low-ish test scores on state testing, and so they want to focus on improving their scores. I resent, however, that they do this by neglecting the overall education of their students.

I suppose the one positive is that now I don’t need to buy a science textbook to use while we try out homeschooling this summer. The one the school didn’t bother using will do quite nicely.

Should You Believe Food Health Claims?

I read an article recently about Kellogg agreeing to drop their claim that Rice Krispies are good for children’s immune systems. They’ve had to drop claims about Frosted Mini Wheats too.

Companies love to make claims about foods, especially when children are the target. Parents want the best for their kids, and it’s not always easy to tell what’s true and what isn’t.

What to do, what to do?

My first rule is to be skeptical about the health claims of any processed food. Want your children to have good immune systems? Feed them fresh fruits and vegetables, encourage them to be active, and don’t overuse antibacterial products. Remember a little dirt is a good thing.

When it comes to cereals, take a good look at what they’re really offering in terms of nutrition. Some are much better than others. But also remember they’re still pretty heavily processed for the most part.

My kids love oatmeal. This makes me happy, as it’s a much healthier option. We’re trying to get them over to steel cut oats, but so far that’s a bit too much of a leap for them. But regular oatmeal isn’t a poor choice at all.

I know cereals are a quick and easy breakfast, which is why we don’t avoid it entirely. But there are many other quick ways to have a good breakfast. Oatmeal doesn’t take that long. Homemade fruit smoothies are great, and you can add vegetables to improve the nutritional value. I even put in some cooked oatmeal to make smoothies more filling. Not too much, as you don’t want to ruin the taste, but a little does it good.

I even freeze them into popsicles and allow the kids to have the popsicles for breakfast. They’re the same as they were before I put them into molds and froze them, after all.

Try more cooking from scratch when you can for any meal. It’s wonderful having more control over just what goes into your food, and you can focus on providing highly nutritious meals and know what went into them.